This title is from the Relate range of books aimed at relationship issues. This book focuses on the emotional process of a separation/divorce.
The book is set in 7 steps:
One: Accept the reality of your situation
Two: Manage your emotions
Three: Develop strategies for personal growth and support
Four: Make the most of family and friends
Five: Deal effectively with money and other practical matters
Six: Learn to communicate effectively with your ex
Seven: Set goals for the future
This book is not for people working at a current relationship or wanting to prevent a seperation. This book is for someone that relationship has ended And focuses on rebuilding yourself and moving forward.
There are simple exercises for the reader to do, which help personalise the topic of each of the chapters in this book.
In the beginning, the author writes of the different ways people deal with accepting that the relationship is over. The descriptions of these defence mechanisms are clear and she uses examples to pinpoint how someone may be hiding the real pain of what they are going through. Highlighting this is especially important, as these mechanisms may serve the person that uses them very well at the time however prolongs the healing process if they go unrecognised. (E.g denial, minimisation, anger).
There are great self exploration exercises to do throughout this book. One at the beginning is a reflection of how your relationship broke down by looking at how you and your partner were at the beginning, compared to the evolution of who you both are now. This is not a blame exercise but rather a look at how two people who were madly in love have naturally changed over time to want different things (not be a perfect ‘fit’ anymore).
Other poignant chapters focus on the managing of your emotions, identifying your support, going through separation where children are involved and finding love again.
I would reccomend this book to clients who are going or have been going through the difficult process of separation. This book is easy to follow and many examples which are relatable. There are many tips and strategies to help someone going through this process.
5/5
Charli Davies
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